He arrived home late into the night. It was still raining outside. For the past few hours he walked the streets, contemplating his next move. And all the while, the voice within taunted him.

You know you don't dare do it. You need me after all.

Shut up! Every single word you utter brings you closer to your demise.

Oh that scares me soooo much. Face it. If you had the guts, you wouldn't be in this situation at all, and I wouldn't have existed in the first place.

He slumped into his chair silently as the words echoes in the darkness of his mind, his soaked overcoat dripping water on the floor. All that he could hear now was the steady patter of rain against the windows. And the slow dripping of water into the puddle at his feet.

Reaching into his coat, he pulled out a black bag. Good, it's still dry. Reaching inside, he took out the worn book that was given to him earlier. A cure to my current condition eh? Slowly he examined it's contents. The words were in an ancient tongue, yet he was able to comprehend it well enough.

Such is the curse of the daemontouched, he said softly while letting out a sigh.

Strange though. He almost expected the voice in him to protest. But it was quiet. All was quiet. Now's the best time I guess.

Turning to the pages that he seeked, he found the very spell that would settle his problem once and for all. Slowly he recited the words, his tongue rolling with ease around the ancient word it was written in. And as he dwelved further into the incantation, a long dark moan started to sound within his head.

The moan started to get louder and louder, threatening to mask his own voice. To match it he started to chant louder. As he uttered the last line, he as practically screaming it out, for the moan in his head had turned into a petrifying bellow. And as he finished the spell, suddenly the bellowing stopped.

And it was quiet again.

Too quiet.

That was it?, he thought to himself. That couldn't have been it. And slowly he lifted his head to look across the room.

And sitting in the corner, on the floor, was this thing, that felt all to familiar to him. All black, and in the form of a man, it let out a low gutteral growl. Slowly, the thing started to crawl towards him. And as it got closer, he saw its features.

It can't be.

It was him.

 

He took his seat in a quiet corner of the of the establishment facing the sea, a steaming hot cup of coffee in his hand. A wry smile crossed his face as he took out a small metal canister to 'spice' up his beverage.

Too much of that'll kill ya.

He recognized that familiar voice and looked up to see the seer looking back at him with a smile on his face.

Long time no see, he replied, as he leaned back to watch the storm rage across the sea. He felt the salty wind on his face while taking in another sip of his drink.

The seer took a seat next to him, and started to roll himself some tobacco.

Those things'll kill ya you know, said he, causing the seer to chuckle slightly.

Look who's talking, came the reply, as the seer lit up his stick. So I hear you've been rather busy of late.

Oh just the usual boring work. Nothing too engaging really.

The seer gave him a rather long stare. When are you ever going to learn to keep things just business? It's not the first time you've made such a mistake you know, while letting out a long puff of smoke.

Oh spare me the lecture, he snapped back. You're not perfect either last I checked. I've covered for you more than enough times after all. But then again, what are friends for eh?

Friends? That's an interesting word for you to use, a smirk on his face. But enough of that. You know the situation in the southlands right?

How can I not, the media has it in my face everywhere I go anyway. It's even eclipsed my little issues from last week. Has their resident geomancer atch a case of death or something?

Funny you should mention that, apparently she decided to take a long trip to the east. Not very helpful to a nation that's literally sinking. Say, didn't you and her have some-

Oh Shut It! You don't know what happened there ok? And no, I have no intention of heading down there for coin nor country. I have more than enough headaches here already.

So I hear, warlock. So I hear. She shouldn't be a distraction to you after all. But I was just suggesting something that was for the better, seeing that you've taken to the bottle once again. And it doesn't help that *her* presence is felt as well.

Ah, the high priestess` aura's getting to you as well eh. Who'd have figured that she'd turn out to be such a strong one after all. At least it's kept the voices in my head quiet.

They're still in there? You've got to be mad to be still storing them in you. Actually, I'm surprised they haven't consumed you from within.

They? it's only one in there. At least I have someone to talk to when I'm working in the field, taking a gulp from the fast cooling cup. The wind picked up as the storm moved closer towards the shore.

Still... well there's concern for your wellbeing. And you're in luck, exclaimed the seer, as he left a worn out tome on the table. This might help you overcome your demons. At least give it a try.

A look of distrust crossed the warlock's face. Is that why you're here seer? To 'help' me? Can you honestly tell me that this isn't a method for them to keep me out of more trouble?

Of course not! I'm here for the same reasons as you after all. The company and the coffee. He smiled.. And stared out to watch the storm finally reach them. Are the gates open by the way?

Finishing up his coffee, he could only afford a nod, as the voice in him stirred again. And his thoughts jumped between the princess, and the high priestess.

And the rain drowned out the sound around them.

 

I've lost at cards
I've lost at love
Lost friends from coast to coast
But of all the things I've lost in life
I miss my mind the most

 

The ghosts that I've left behind and buried beneath the earth have found the strength to return for an encore. It's not a case however of my spirit weakening, rather of their bindings removed. Years ago they had themselves binded or banished, so it's no surprise that they're free again.

Nothing lasts forever after all.

And I can't keep part of myself buried for so long. Like it or not, the soul leech that drains me as I sleep is still me. Rather, a part of me. So is the shade that sits in the corner and waits to consume me should I let my guard down.

Remnants of me from the past. All waiting for the time when they can return to the one that created them. It's different this time though. They might find me harder to chew on. Or that I'm fueled by so much poison that any attempt to consume me would result in their demise instead.

There is no need to fear the past anymore after all. It's all just aspects of me. And the current me is stronger than ever mentally. Domination is all a case of mind over matter after all.

The unfocused ramblings however betray the cracks in my sanity that I have tried to cover for so long. My alcohol infused nights coupled with my fuckall approach to troubleshooting life maybe a little too much for some people to take.

Then again, it's not like I'm ramming it down their throats. And the bottom line is, it works doesn't it? Crude yes, but effective. Fugly, but efficient.

All I gotta do however, is to keep the King of the Mountain ego in check.

Now THAT's gonna be a problem.

 

Do you believe in a god that satisfies?
Do you believe in a god that opens eyes?
Do you believe in a god that tells you lies?
Or do you believe in me?

Do you believe in a god that brings you down?
Do you believe in a god that wears a crown?
do you believe in a god that makes you bow?
Or do you believe in me?

Marco V - Godd.

 

I know you do.

Three days, he waited and watched on top of the hill. For three days, he stayed out of sight, and in the rain. He took another swig from the bottle. It'll probably make him go blind eventually, but at least it kept the numbing cold away. And for three days, he focused on the movements in the camp below.

She's down there isn't she.

Stop it, you know this is just business.

Business? Since when did an infatuation be considered business?

Shush. You know what I'm talking about. It's just a coincidence that she decided to get stuck in this mess.

And what if she becomes part of the problem? Wouldn't that complicate matters more?

Shh. Something's happening below.

Oh as if they can hear me anyway. I'm in your bloody head remember?

And below them, the camp came to life. Even in the heavy rainfall, men scurried around, setting up what appeared to be a defensive perimeter. Something was coming, but it was sooner than expected. And as the wind blew stronger, it carried a heavy taint of sulfur. And it seemed to get stronger by the minute.

You feel that? familiar isn't it? Don't you crave it anymore?

SHUT UP! I'm no longer that person!

You can lie to them, but you cannot lie to me. I am after all, still you.

And the sky lit up, as the first of the meteors fell from the sky. Doom is coming.

He looked back down to the camp to see the messengers leave. And he was relieved to see her leave with them. A second meteor hit the hill next to the one he was on. It was time to take his leave as well.

What good was the infomation he held if he were to have an accident out here after all.

As he chanted the words of portal, a vision suddenly hit him.

No.It cannot be.

The high priestess had returned.

 

His ears were still ringing from the explosion. Rain and what he believed to be blood stung his eyes as he slowly opened them to view his surroundings. Never has he tried to absorb so much destruction in such a short time. As the rain fell mercilessly on him, he wondered if all this pain was worth it.

You're a fool you know, the voice in him whispered.

Is she worth all this?

He looked around to survey the carnage he had caused. This wasn't the way he wanted it. But it was the only way, he reasoned, as he looked down to his lap to see if she was still breathing. And there she lay, as angelic as when he first saw her; the shieldmaiden. Good, she's still alive.

Why do you even bother, said the voice within.

Because, it's his fault that she's in this state.

You can't blame yourself, came the reply. She knew the dangers of the road she chose, chasing that fallen prince around like that.

NO! It's my fault. She wouldn't have been this way if it wasn't for my glamour and whisperings.

Oh? She would've just be driven to hunt another instead then don't you think? Think you fool. No matter what, she would never give you a second look. You're nothing but a member of her court after all.

Well maybe one day..

One day? Nothing's gonna happen! She doesn't care for....

The sound of footsteps stopped his mental arguments. Looking back up, he saw the approach of more soldiers. Cradling her up, he starts to utter the words that would open a portal. A gate that would take them both to safety. An arrow lodged itself in his shoulder, almost breaking his concentration.

Ignore the pain. Finish the spell dammit!

And with a flash of blinding light, they were gone.

 

It's very seldom things like this hit so close to home. Or rather, hit home. Penang will be Penang somehow. Even with the beach areas devastated by the tsunami, most of its populace was going about their grinding menial tasks, oblivious to the havoc that actually happened. The magnitude of yesterday's events did not hit me until this morning, when I decided to drive through the disaster zones.

So many treasured spots have been ravaged by the sea. Gurney Drive was closed off to traffic as MPPP workers thronged the area trying their best to repair the damages. As I headed north, more workers were washing down the Tg. Tokong zone, where waves smashed cars and boats against the houses across the road.

PSC appeared to be closed to public as well, where reports of a wall of water smashing into the gym and causing a massive crack in the swimming pool. Not to mention the capsized yatchs which were anchored in the marina.

Travelling on to Tg. Bungah, we discovered the wash out of the Shack. Looks like it'll be some time before one can enjoy a beer or two under the stars by the beach there. A couple of friends related on how all they could do was watch from their homes as the fishing village below them was torn away house after house by the relentless waves, and to have it all spiral down a mini whirpool, occupants and all.

Lost paradise is totally lost. All that remained of that establishment is the main house, and a lot of mud. Everything else was swept away.

But the feeling of dread finally sank in when we entered Miami beach. Police tape officially sealed off the beachfront, with dozens of emergency vehicles parked along the roads. A mobile disaster task center was set up, while navy divers prepared themselves for the grim task of body recovery ahead. Miami beach, on a Sunday AND a Public holiday would be host to a few hundred picnickers and anglers.
To have the official death toll for Miami beach to stay at 13 would be impossible. The stories from there are painful to hear. Of mothers who had their children taken from their grasp by the waves. Of the only son who had to identify the bodies of the rest of his family. Of the listless and anxious people who were pacing along the police lines. 38 dead for Penang so far. They failed to mention the 68 'officially' missing.

Another friend had a reunion dinner at a seaside hotel only to watch with morbid fascination as people fished a dead body from the sea. Heck he even has it on tape. The victim was a chinese female that died with her eyes open.

Things like this puts your life into prespective. All your little games that you play, of body politics, of social standing, are for naught when disaster strikes. My first fears were for my family, for my mom, my dad ( yes really) and my grandma who was supposed to be vacationing in one fo the hotels in Penang. And after that, I realised I had no one. And I never felt so lonely in my life.

A second quake is expected. A second wave has been predicted. To think that I've been having a recuring dream of all this. I suppose all we can do, is pray for Penang.

If I can find you now thing would get better
We can leave this town and run forever
I know some where, some how
We'll be together
Let your waves crash down on me
And take me away

Yellowcard - Ocean Avenue.

The drops of rain they fall all over
This awkward silence makes me crazy
The glow inside burns light upon her
I'll try to kiss you if you let me

This can't be the end

Tidal waves they rip right through me
Tears from eyes worn cold and sad
Pick me up now, I need you so bad

Your vows of silence fall all over
The look in your eyes makes me crazy
I feel the darkness break upon her
I'll take you over if you let me

You did this

Tidal waves they rip right through me
Tears from eyes worn cold and sad
Pick me up now, I need you so bad

Down down down down
Down down down down
Down down down down
Down down down down
It gets me so
Down down down down
Down down down down
Down down down down
Down down down down
It gets me so


Blink 182 - Down.

With my machine back up, it's a slow slow task of regaining all my data that's been lost with the recent HDD crashes. And while I do that, might as well get me some sparkling new tunes to go with it. This is currently being overplayed on my mp3 player, along with Yellowcard, Pitbull and Lil John. Reality bites, but I've decided to bite back, rather than escape it like before. Dammit this is gonna hurt.

Some things disappear inside
Should I try to run away
If I could I would escape you
I won't argue anymore
I have lost the will to be
Hope you don't think I'm ungrateful
Why, why are you laughing ?
Is it something that I said ?

Close the curtains lock the door
Left my note upon the stair
In hope you wouldn't read it
Fake emotions in my head
Everything I've seen and read
Can't begin to find a reason
Why, why are you laughing ?
Is it something that I said ?...

I don't like this place at all
Makes me wonder what I'm here for
Someone take this pain away
Dying to see another day
And I don't want to be your friend
Or pretend I can fit into
I'm incensed, I'm blown away
Dying to see another day


Armin Van Burren - Yet Another Day.

There is no tomorrow.
There is no hope.
There is no future.
There is only now.
Right here. Right now.
Forget tomorrow, build for today.
Never regret your actions, nor your failures.
Dreams are fragile realities that shatter upon touch.
Yet reality is what you make of it, and not of what people tell you it is.
Emotions can drive you to extinction, or success, so designate your driver well.
Nothing is forever. Everything will end. Ride the hard ride. Die the good death.
Fear nothing but yourself.
Trust no one, not even yourself.
Learn to escape yourself, before it kills you.
Sex is overrated. Foreplay and massages aren't.
There are a million different ways to say things. There is only one way to show it.

And of course,

Love is only a feeling.

Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye

And roped me in
So mesmerizing, so hypnotizing
I am captivated

I am Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
I swear I knew it all along

And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

So clear
Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intentions
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye

And rendered me
So isoloated, so motivated
I am certain now that

So turn
Up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment, fall forever
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away

Slight hope
It dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption...


Dashboard Confessional - Vindicated.

The lines that should never have been crossed, have been. It's not the time anymore to ponder over why, because what's done is done. The concepts of friendship has been perverted and warped beyond even Danielle Steel's ideals, as values are compromised in pursuit of self indulgence. The circle is no more, as it shatters into the smaller nuclear families that beget it in the first place.

Sometimes you wonder if it's worse for the fence sitters; as they watch friends erect invisible barriers between them; as they hear friends lie to each other blatantly; as they see friends attempt to hide their motives from one another. It's worse of a burden indeed, to know so much, and to be so helpless. But it's understood. And I'm rather glad I know where I stand.

You do not judge me, nor should you judge your friends.

You do not force your advice upon me, when it is you that cannot even take your own words.

You do not demand respect that is not due to you, on the merit that it is given to your other half.

And you can never even hope to be half the man I am.

The circles have sealed again. There is no more compromise. Lest I be lost as well to their corruption of virtues.

Vindication is only a knife throw away after all.